


Welcome to Aoba Johsai, Inc.

by AshenBee



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Based on The Office (US), Gen, Reader-Insert, not exactly a reader fic though, this is basically just me shitposting, you are the cameraman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:49:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29876574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshenBee/pseuds/AshenBee
Summary: What would happen if Aoba Johsai were actually a fictional paper sales company as featured in the American television seriesThe Office?
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11





	Welcome to Aoba Johsai, Inc.

**Author's Note:**

> I have recently been rewatching the Office (US), and at some point I realised that I wanted to see Hanamaki and Matsukawa run circles around Oikawa while Iwaizumi tries to control them and Yachi (supposedly) looks on innocently from reception.  
> And then suddenly I had a whole outline and this.
> 
> Note: this is NOT an x reader fic. The cameraman has next to no input, they are simply there because I decided about three hours ago that I DO want the cameraman to be in the fic and that they're going to be my 2nd POV guinea pig.

"Good morning everyone~"

Oikawa’s voice rang out loudly in the early morning quiet as he waltzed into the office, stopping for a moment to stare at you before turning to lean on the counter at reception. Yachi looked up at him with a small smile.

"Good morning, Oikawa-san."

"Good _morning_ , Yacchan. How are we today? Any messages?"

Yachi shook her head. "Not yet. It’s been quiet."

Oikawa pursed his lips, nodding. "I see, I see. Well, it’s only Monday, there’s plenty of time for more messages to come in." He pushed off and spun on his heel, making his way over to the sales desk. There, he paused by the desk at the centre of the cluster, staring down at the empty seat.

"Hey, where’s Iwa-chan?"

Hanamaki glanced up from his computer and regarded Oikawa cooly. "He’s bringing in the new guy."

"That was today?"

Hanamaki nodded. "Yep."

"What! We should have prepared a welcome party," Oikawa complained, pouting. 

Hanamaki propped his chin in his hand. "He did remind you on Friday."

Oikawa rolled his eyes. "Yes, but then we had the weekend. And I don’t know about you, but I was too busy having _fun_ to think about Monday morning." He tilted his head and waggled his eyebrows at you briefly before waiting for Hanamaki’s reaction.

Hanamaki pursed his lips, ignoring the bait. "Oh, don’t worry. I was having fun, too."

They stared at each other for a few more seconds before Oikawa _humph_ ed and turned away from the desk with a flourish. He stepped over to the door to his office, hand reaching for the door handle.

"Wait!" Oikawa spun back around, meeting Hanamaki’s blank gaze. Yachi peeked out over the top of reception quietly. "Did Iwa-chan say what time he’s arriving today?"

Hanamaki shrugged as Yachi spoke up. "He called about 15 minutes ago, I think they should be here soon."

Crossing his arms, Oikawa hummed. "Do you think there’s enough time to set up a surprise before they arrive?"

Hanamaki watched him, twisting idly in his chair. "You could always just wait for him in your office and jump out when they get here."

"What if I don’t hear him in time?"

"I’ll tell you when I hear the elevator."

Oikawa narrowed his eyes at Hanamaki. "I don’t trust you."

Hanamaki shrugged. "Then ask Yachi." He looked over his shoulder at Yachi, who met his gaze with raised eyebrows. "You can trust her, right?"

Oikawa glanced her way too before shaking his head. "It’s fine, it’s fine," he said, waving his hand dismissively. "We’ll just have a party later today."

"Cool," Hanamaki said, nodding "You can go ahead and wait in your office then. I’m sure Iwaizumi would be thrilled to see you doing some work this early."

Oikawa clicked his tongue and turned back to his office, hand on the door handle, when the ding of the elevator sounded from the hallway.

"Speak of the devil," Hanamaki muttered as Oikawa’s hand flew back from the door and he strode over to reception, dropping his bag on the floor.

"Is that them? Are they here? How do I look, Yacchan?" Oikawa whispered, adjusting his suit.

"You look fine, Oikawa-san," Yachi whispered back, eyes sliding over to meet Hanamaki’s gaze from behind Oikawa.

The front door opened and the mail man poked his head in. "Package for Oikawa Tooru?"

Hanamaki snickered as Oikawa slumped over dramatically.

"Yes, that’s me, thank you," he mumbled, taking the package and stamping the worker’s receipt. He turned the padded manila envelope over in his hands as the man left, frowning at it. "I wonder who this is from; there’s no return address." Oikawa leaned against the top of reception, looking for the edge of the tape sealing the envelope shut.

"Ah, Boss, maybe you should save that for later," Hanamaki said, leaning back in his chair. "Don’t want to be looking at letters when the new recruit walks in, right?"

Oikawa shook his head, ripping off the tape. "But the address is hand written, and it was delivered signed-for. It might be important…" He peeked inside and hummed, pulling out a small white plastic booklet, shut with poppers. He pulled at the sides. "What’s this—"

The poppers released and glitter exploded in a cloud.

Hanamaki buried his face in his arm to muffle his snort while Yachi slapped both hands over her mouth. Oikawa stared down at the booklet in his hands, now empty except for the thin coating of glitter that remained on the staticky sides. The rest of it was on his hands, his suit, his shoes, all over the floor, all over reception—it was everywhere.

Oikawa swallowed, taking in the multi-coloured explosion.

"Makki."

Hanamaki cleared his throat, lifting his head and trying clearly to keep a straight face. "Yes, Boss?"

Oikawa turned to look at him; there was glitter all over his face and hair. "Did you do this?"

Hanamaki pressed his lips together and shook his head quickly. "Boss, I was sitting over here, you were the one that opened it—"

" _Makki_."

Hanamaki covered his mouth with a hand, barely moving under Oikawa’s sharp glare.

Just then the front door opened again.

"So, this is the entrance and reception, and then—what the _hell_ happened here?"

Oikawa’s head snapped round as he met Iwaizumi’s shocked face. A snort escaped Hanamaki.

"Iwa-chan! This—It isn’t what it looks like!"

Iwaizumi stared at the glitter all over the floor before lifting his eyes to Oikawa. " _What._ "

Oikawa waved the booklet and envelope in his hand frantically, sending a smattering of glitter flying. "Someone framed me! It wasn’t my fault!"

"Shitty—" He glanced at you. "Oikawa. What do you—actually—you know what—forget it."

Hanamaki sent a conspiratorial grin over at Yachi as Oikawa spluttered. "But Iwa-chan—"

"No, shut it. I don’t care." Iwaizumi sucked in a breath, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. He exhaled slowly before opening his eyes and pointedly turning away from Oikawa. "Well, this isn’t exactly the great first impression I was hoping for, but at least you know now what kind of nonsense we have to deal with here."

" _Iwa-chan_!"

Iwaizumi ignored him. He turned away from the front door and addressed the rest of the office. "Everyone, I’d like to introduce a new member joining our sales team."

The new recruit stepped round the corner, coming to stand next to Iwaizumi with his hands clasped behind his back. He had dark, sleepy eyes half-hidden behind a mess of hair that made him look like he had just rolled out of bed not two minutes before, and he was huge—towering over Iwaizumi—with broad shoulders and the posture of someone that had already been working a desk job for the past fifty years. 

He glanced around the office and dipped into a bow. "My name is Matsukawa Issei. I look forward to working with you all." He straightened up again, his eyes immediately landing on Hanamaki. Hanamaki blinked at him.

Oikawa stepped in front of him. "Hello, I’m Oikawa Tooru, and I’m the branch manager! You’re going to have a great time here, Mattsun!"

Iwaizumi groaned as Matsukawa glanced down at the glittery hand extended between them before looking back to Oikawa and bowing his head. "Thank you, Oikawa-san."

"Oikawa, go clean yourself up."

Oikawa clicked his tongue at Iwaizumi. "Iwa-chan, I’m trying to become acquainted with our newest member!"

"Get acquainted when you don’t look like you just walked out of a little kid’s birthday party."

Oikawa scoffed indignantly, but pulled his hand back and twisted on his heel to head for the bathrooms.

Iwaizumi sighed heavily before turning back to Matsukawa. "Sorry about this. Anyway, feel free to put your jacket on the rack there, this is Yachi Hitoka, our receptionist—"

"Hello!"

"—and this is Hanamaki Takahiro, our other salesman."

Hanamaki grinned up at Matsukawa, who simply nodded again.

Iwaizumi took him round the whole office to introduce him to everyone else one by one. You made to follow, but Hanamaki flapped a hand as he slid out of his chair, stepping back to lean against reception while Yachi wiped it down, avoiding the huge patch of glitter that was still all over the floor.

"So," he began, head tilted over his shoulder. "What do you think of the new guy?"

Yachi looked up as she wiped, then craned her head to watch as Matsukawa greeted the accounting team. "He seems nice."

"Mm." Hanamaki nodded slowly, eyes following Matsukawa’s form. "Do you think he’s taller than me?"

Yachi giggled, and a smile tugged at Hanamaki’s lips. "Maybe." She paused then. "We should clean up the rest of the glitter."

Hanamaki shook his head sharply and returned to his seat. "Not yet." He looked at you pointedly. "Just wait."

Having finished their loop of the office, Iwaizumi showed Matsukawa to the empty desk opposite Hanamaki.

"So this is your desk. If you need anything, just ask. Hanamaki, is someone going to clean— _that_?"

Hanamaki’s eyes skated away from Matsukawa to follow the path of Iwaizumi’s hand, indicating the pile of glitter near reception. "Boss was the one who made the mess though?"

Iwaizumi opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by Oikawa returning from the bathroom, mostly free of glitter. Mostly.

"Mattsun—"

"Oikawa, are you gonna clean up that mess?"

Oikawa stopped in his tracks by their desks. He let out a huff and crossed his arms. "Iwa-chan, I told you, I was _framed_ —"

"And I told you I don’t care—"

Matsukawa was slowly unpacking his bag and setting out his things while Oikawa and Iwaizumi squabbled, when he looked over to you and then met Hanamaki’s gaze.

Hanamaki winked at him. "You’ll get used to it."

Matsukawa’s lips twitched as he took a seat.

"Ugh, _fine_ , I’ll clean it up, let me just put my bag in my office," Oikawa muttered, grabbing his bag from reception and heading to his office.

"Hey, Matsukawa-kun," Hanamaki whispered. Matsukawa glanced up, then followed Hanamaki’s gaze to Oikawa.

Oikawa wrapped a hand around the door handle and pushed.

There was a _whump_ , followed by a startled squawk from Oikawa and an angry _what_ from Iwaizumi as they were both buried in a cloud of white dust that burst in the doorway to Oikawa’s office.

"What—what’s going on?!"

"Oikawa, what the hell?!"

"This wasn’t _me_!"

" _Hanamaki_!"

Hanamaki cackled as everyone else in the office groaned, leaning back in his chair as Iwaizumi emerged from the cloud to glare at him.

"Seriously Hanamaki? What is wrong with you?"

Hanamaki grinned shamelessly as Oikawa joined Iwaizumi, coughing and spluttering.

"Is this—"

"Why yes, it’s only the finest grade-A icing sugar." 

" _Makki_!" Oikawa coughed again, staring down at his suit through the settling dust. "This is going to take forever to clean up!"

"Yeah, which is why he’s going to do it," Iwaizumi growled as he grabbed a fistful of Oikawa’s shirt. "This better be gone by the time we get back!" he threatened, ignoring Oikawa’s complaints as he dragged him out of the office, his coughs echoing in the hallway after them.

Once they were gone, Hanamaki cut through the silence with another loud laugh. He swung to his feet, sighing happily as he looked over at Yachi. She shook her head at him, lips pressed together as she tried to hide a smile.

"That was…"

"Incredible," Hanamaki finished for her, grinning wide. "Genius. Masterclass. Worth every single yen."

He looked over to Matsukawa then, still grinning.

Matsukawa’s eyes were _sparkling_.

Hanamaki seemed to stall. "Yeah," he chuckled, "you’re gonna have a _great_ time here." He leaned over his desk then, extending a hand to Matsukawa.

Matsukawa grasped it firmly, one corner of his lips ticking up.

Hanamaki’s grin widened. "Welcome to Aoba Johsai."

☎︎

**Author's Note:**

> Buckle up Matsukawa, you're in for a ride.
> 
> Shout-out to the matsuhanaists gc who told me this sounds cool after I vomited words on a page at ass o'clock in the morning.  
> Also shout-out to [Moni](https://twitter.com/moniichuu) on twitter for dragging me halfway onto the Matsuhanayachi ship.
> 
> This is very different from what I usually write, but I just felt like experimenting. Plus, I needed to do something lighthearted for once in my life.
> 
> I have an overarching plot, but I have yet to decide if I want to make this into a multi-chapter fic or a series of one shots. We'll see. This is my first time posting something that I plan to continue without knowing where it's going. So. This is going to be a whole learning experience.  
> Apologies in advance for when I invariably realise I don't know what I'm doing and regret my decisions.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and please feel free to comment<3


End file.
